I sit on my old bed. I’m mad at Josie, but I know part of my anger comes from my own insecurities. Some of the things she said really hit close to home. What if I’m too young for him? What does he even see in me? What if he gets bored with me? What if I’m just another warm mouth for him? No, I know this is not true. I know he cares about me. He’s proven that many times already. And he’s here with me today meeting my family. Would he do that if I was just a meaningless fling?

There is a tentative knock at the door. I’m about to yell at Josie to leave me alone when I look up and see Rashid poke his head through the door.

“Can I come in?” He asks a little uncertainly.

I nod, and he steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around me wordlessly.

“Are you alright?” His voice is soft and gentle.

I lean my head against his shoulder and breathe in. Nothing anchors me more or calms me down better than feeling his arms around me and smelling his unique Rashid scent.

I nod, “Yes. Always, when I’m with you.” I can’t see it, but I know he’s smiling.

“That’s good to know. Lell.” Only he can switch from being concerned about me to teasing me in a heartbeat.

“Rashi”, I growl back, not missing the chance for a comeback. He laughs.

“Your princess really is the cutest little girl.” He whispers against my scalp. “She promised to do my nails later. Looking forward to it.”

“Josie thinks you’re too old for me.” I explain. “We had a bit of an argument.”

“Mhmm…” He doesn’t seem too upset about it. “Well, I am older than you. That was bound to come up at one point. Probably will again.” After a beat he adds, “Does it bother you?”

“No.” I shake my head. “I actually never really thought about it. Too busy worrying about everything else.” I hesitate. “Am I too young for you?”

“No, little bear, you’re just right.” He kisses my cheek but then becomes serious quickly when he sees the worry in my eyes. “I did think about it, briefly, but it was more in a ‘Huh, I don’t really care’ kind of way. I dated Luke, and we were the same age. Sam… well… Sam’s a vampire, so he was a lot older than me. Like a century older or two even. What’s twelve years compared to that?”

He mentioned Sam the ex before. Fellow Talamasca agent and a vampire. Back then it had shocked me a little, but who am I to judge? I’m friends with two vampires. I work for them. I let them feed from me. We never had sex, but I wouldn’t have minded. And Rashid said they don’t work together anymore. I just always forget how old these vampires can be. I know they’re immortal and live hundreds of years, but I still look at them and think they’re in their 30s or something.

“Every relationship is different, and there are so many factors… age is just one of them. And you have more life experience than most people twice your age. It doesn’t feel like we’re worlds apart.”

I just huff, still simmering in my indignation.

“Look, Wendell, I think Josie’s only looking out for her brother.” He pauses, searching my face before going on. “She’ll come around once she sees you’re happy. If you’re happy…”

“She thought you’re one of my former clients!” I am still outraged at her assumption.

He laughs. He actually laughs. “Well, I was tempted…”

When he sees my face, he quickly adds, “Not to pay you money for it! But do you have any idea how hot you looked at Lestat’s concert? If I hadn’t been there for work, I would have definitely made a move. And then you went with that Hispanic guy. I was dead jealous.”

“You mean Rafa? He’s Mari’s very hot and very straight cousin.” I can’t help laughing. “So you were hoping for a freebie?”

“I’m still hoping for freebies.” He places a series of kisses on my neck.

“Mhmm, we’ll see about that.” It’s tempting, but we shouldn’t let the others wait too long. “Food first, freebies later?” I suggest. “Before Soso decides to come looking for us.”

With a last kiss pressed against my pulse, he gets up and pulls me to my feet.

“Come on, Lell, let’s get something to eat.” He starts to walk away, my hand firmly clutched in his, when I hold him back.

“I am happy, Rashid.”

He smiles and kisses me long enough to almost make me forget my resolve to go downstairs again.

“Me too, Wendell. Very happy.”

Eventually we make it back. Josie gives us a long look that clearly says, “And what have you two been up to?” but doesn’t say anything. Nothing, sis, just kissing. Josie tells us to sit down at the table while she and Mal bring out plate after plate and bowl after bowl of food. Soso declares she wants to sit between Lell and Rashi – so much for secretly holding hands under the table – but of course the princess gets whatever she wants.

Josie has really outdone herself with the menu. Ever since Mari told her I’m vegan, she’s been trying to include something vegan when she’s cooking for me. Today everything is vegan – except for the turkey, of course, and the mac & cheese. There are stuffed bell peppers with dirty rice, cornbread, Cajun-spiced vegetables and, of course, Soso’s mashed sweet potatoes with tiny marshmallows on top.

The bit of anger that I still held about Josie’s reaction flies out the window at this display of sisterly love. We all dig in and eat until we all feel like stuffed turkeys. When none of us really can fit anything else in – and we haven’t even touched dessert yet – Josie gets up with a groan and starts clearing the table. I catch Mal throwing her a pointed look, and before her second round to the kitchen, she says:

“Wendell, could you give me a hand?”

I immediately get up to help her – Josie raised me well – when Rashid offers to pitch in as well. I gently push him down on his chair and remind him, “You cook – I clean.”

We grin at each other. I know we both remember the eventful night of our first kiss. I join Josie in the kitchen and discover there isn’t actually much to do. I suspect she called me in here for a different reason.

“Wendell, I just wanted to say… I really am sorry for what I said earlier. I guess I overreacted a little.”

I snort, “A little?”

Josie rolls her eyes. “Okay, a lot… You’re not the only overthinker in this family, alright?” She chews her lip. I know Mal pushed her to apologise to me. She finally sighs and continues in a soft voice, “He seems really nice. And he is hot.” She giggles when I shoot her a look. “I’m almost married with three kids, but I’m not blind!” There’s still a smile on her face when she takes my hand. “And he has only eyes for you. I can see that, too. But he’ll better treat you right, or else…”

“… you’ll have his balls, I know.” I finish the sentence for her. “You’re forgiven, sis. Just trust me on this and give him a chance.” She promises she will, and I pull her into a hug and kiss her cheek. “And thank you for this amazing meal.”

When we go back to the others in the living room, Rashid is bouncing one of the twins – Ezra, I think – on his knee. I plonk down on the couch beside them and tickle Ezra, who squirms on Rashid’s lap. Rashid is a complete natural with kids, it seems. I remember when the twins were born and I gushed about my nephews forever on the phone; Rashid asked all these expert questions about their weight and size. Maybe it’s because he’s an only child that he’s taking so much interest in babies.

“Don’t be getting any ideas, Chaudhury,” I tell him. “I’m not getting pregnant, not even for you!”

He laughs and bends over to give me a kiss. “That’s good to know. Wouldn’t want to accidentally knock you up.”

Since cuddling my nephews doesn’t require a pregnancy, I hold out my arms to Theo, and Mal is only happy to hand him over. Not soon after, Soso squeezes herself in between us, demanding our attention, and I can hear the old couch creaking under the weight of two grown men, a small child, two babies and the amount of food that could have fed an entire army and that we devoured.

We barely have time to digest any of it before Josie’s calling us back to the table for coffee and Rashid’s kheer, and it’s so incredible I shamelessly go back for seconds.

Then it’s time for a little Dupree family tradition: everyone at the table – the babies are exempt – is invited to say a few lines of gratitude. We all take our neighbour’s hands. Then Josie and I make the start. It’s a call-and-response thing that we started when we were younger. I can’t even remember when. In the years when we didn’t have a proper family Thanksgiving dinner, we’d say it huddled together on Josie’s bed with some crackers and peanut butter.

Josie begins, and then we continue back and forth:
“I’m thankful for the boy who rescued baby animals and thought he could fly.”
“And I’m thankful for the girl who taught me how to fight with words, not fists.”
“Who always cried during ‘The Lion King.'”
“Who always made me laugh again.”
And together we finish: “For Mama. For us. For family.”

Soso demands being next, which is good because we’re all a bit choked up now. She gets up on her chair and clears her throat.

“I’m thankful for my Mama and my snacks,
For cartoons, hugs, and piggyback rides!
For rainbow skies and mashed sweet ‘tatoes,
And Unkie Lell who makes funny faces!”

She bows dramatically, and Rashid whispers behind her back, “A star is clearly born.”

Mal follows with a short blessing that his granny used to say before meals:

“Give thanks for full bellies and full hearts, and always keep one hand free to lift someone else up.”

With that he kisses Josie’s hand, and his eyes shine with emotion.

Then Rashid’s up, and even though everyone assures him he doesn’t need to do it, he insists.

“My father was born in Bangladesh. He came to the UK to get a degree in engineering, and he had every intention of going back once he completed it. Then he met my mother when she helped out at her parents’ Indian restaurant and… well… I happened, and he stayed.” Rashid grins a little sheepishly. “My mom was born in the UK, but my nanu and my nana, my grandparents, came from Uttar Pradesh in North India. So I grew up speaking English and a little bit of Bengali and Urdu.”

Everyone at the table is wildly impressed. English is basically the only language that we speak, although Josie and I picked up some Creole French from our mother, and Mari taught me some colourful Spanish cuss words.

“I can’t remember my nana, my maternal grandfather, but my nanu, my maternal grandmother, always told me this. Can I say it in Urdu first? The way she taught me to say it?”

We all nod eagerly, curious to hear him speak another language, especially me.

“Apne aap ko khamoshi se us ajeeb kashish ke hawale kar do jo tumhein waqai pasand hai. Yeh tumhein gumrah nahi karegi.”

Soso’s eyes grow round as saucers when she hears the unfamiliar words come out of his mouth.

“What does it mean?” She demands to know.

He bends down to her. “It means ‘Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray’, shona.” Then he looks up at me smiling.

Good food and shared family traditions ease the initial tension of the first-time meeting, and we pass the time playing card games and cuddling the twins. Soso ends up doing both our nails – Rashid’s and mine – and we tease each other about whose look better. As a reward, Soso graciously allows me to sit next to Rashid, and I can finally take my boyfriend’s hand and hold it – not quite so secretly – under the table. Surprisingly, Mal is a fabulous narrator, and he entertains us with stories about crazy customers at his shop. I can see Josie watching me and Rashid, her eyes going back and forth between us. When I see a small smile curls her lips, I know she’s warming up to him.

Soon it is bedtime for my princess. She protests loudly and starts crying when her mom insists but quickly calms down when I offer to read her a bedtime story. When I gather her up in my arms to carry her upstairs, she holds out a hand to Rashid.

“Uncle Rashi, too!” she begs. We’re all a bit stunned, but I couldn’t be happier that she accepted Rashid into our family so quickly. We alternate reading to her; I tug her in, and she demands goodnight kisses from both of us.

Josie and Mal are looking after the twins, so I take the chance to drag Rashid outside into our backyard. It’s a clear and crispy night, and we sit down on the steps. The same steps that Josie found me on after our dad tried to make sure he wasn’t raising a sissy.

Rashid sits on the lower step and leans back against me, stretching his slender body with a low groan.

“I ate way too much,” he says. “I think I’m gonna burst.” He glances up at me. “Don’t expect too much action from me tonight; I don’t think I can move.”

I chuckle and wrap my arms around him, pressing a soft kiss into the nook between his neck and shoulder.

“That’s alright, old man.” I murmur into his ear. “I can do all the moving.”

He laughs. “Whatever you do, kiddo, no pressure on my stomach, please.”

I slip one of my hands inside his shirt and place it on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart.

“Is it still beating?” Rashid asks me, his eyes flicking over to me, just barely.

“Yes,” I confirm.

“That’s good.”

We stay tangled up like this, just enjoying the peace and quiet out here. Rashid’s head rests against my chest, fingers loosely settled on my knee.

“I didn’t know you could see the stars from here,” he says, looking up.

“Some nights you can. Only the really bright ones, though,” I offer, tilting my head toward the sky.

“Are you cold?” He asks after a while. He must have seen the goosebumps on my arms.

“A little,” I admit. “But I want to stay. Just enjoying being here with you.”

Rashid turns his head, and I kiss him, long and tender. After we break apart, I nuzzle my forehead into his shoulder.

“I love you, Rashid.”

The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I don’t regret them. I mean them. I just thought I would tell him in a special moment – somewhere romantic – but it’s how I feel and I want him to know. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. He doesn’t even have to say it back.

It lands between us like a stone in still water. He doesn’t move at first. Just goes very still, like maybe he didn’t hear me – or maybe he did, and he’s trying to make sense of it.

His gaze slowly shifts back to my face, eyes wide and searching.

“Say that again…” he asks, his voice low and a little breathless.

My heart skips a beat, and my whole body’s buzzing, like sparks dancing across my skin.

“I love you.” I repeat. I feel a rush of vulnerability, my voice smaller than before.

Rashid stares at me for a second longer. Then he turns all the way around, kneels on the step between my legs, and cups my face in both hands.

“I love you too, Wendell,” he says, soft and certain.

And then he kisses me, slow and deliberate, and it feels like something I’ve been waiting for my whole damn life.