After dessert and coffee, where I make a point to praise Big Mal’s vegan ice cream, I declare my wish to go home. Josie and Mal try to convince me to stay, but Bruno, my cat, needs feeding, and I long for some peace and quiet in my own four walls. It was a long day. Mal insists on driving me home. I don’t put up much of a fight because it’s late and being alone on dark streets at night still makes my skin tingle, and I already took a cab to get here on time. Josie says she’s too tired to come with us, and I can see the dark circles under her eyes. These twins are quite the energy vampires.

So Mal and I get into Josie’s car; it’s still the one I bought her from the money I got from my first “blood donation”, and Mal directs it toward the city. The car coughs and splutters a bit; it was never the best to begin with, but it’s still going. It’s a valiant little vessel.

At first Mal and I enjoy a moment of companionable silence. We’re both not the kind of person who has a permanent need for talking, so keeping quiet is fine. I look outside the window where the lights of the city flash by and wonder where my mystery man – his name is Rashid – might be right now. After a moment, I notice that Mal is shifting on his seat a little too much. There’s something on his mind, and he’s working up the courage to say it. I decide to help him out, start a conversation, and say the first thing that comes to my mind.

“Not long now until the twins are born, huh?”

“Yeah, no, a couple of weeks tops, the doctor said.” He scratches his chin nervously, and I wait.

“There’s actually something I wanted to ask you…” he starts. Okay… here we go… get it out, man, get it out.

“Since Josie doesn’t have any family left, any male relatives… except you, of course, I wanted to ask you…”

He suddenly swerves the car in a dangerous move to the side of the street and brings it to a screeching halt. I gasp and grab the inside door handle. Woah, what just happened? He’s breathing heavily and then suddenly leans over to reach between my legs – hold on a second now! – but he lunges for the glove compartment and pulls out a small blue box. He shows it to me and opens the lid. There’s a ring in it. A simple silver band with a tiny diamond chip sparkling in the streetlights. I look from the ring to Mal.

“Are you proposing to me, Malcolm Turner?”

He looks confused. Bless him.

“What? No! I want to propose to Josie, and I wanted to ask for your blessing.”

I can see the sweat glistening on his forehead, and it has nothing to do with the heat and humidity of New Orleans in early summer.

“You don’t need to…” I start, but he interrupts me.

“But I want to! I love Josie with all my heart, and Soso as well, but I know the three of you went through some really tough times, and it made you really close. I’m asking for your sister’s hand in marriage, and I hope you’ll give your blessing. I want you to know that I’m not trying to get between you and the girls or take them away from you. They will always be your family. I just…” He gestures a little helplessly trying to find the right words. “I just want them to be part of my family, too.” He concludes.

I’m actually touched. For once I never thought anyone would ever care to ask for my blessing for anything, but this is probably also the longest speech I’ve ever heard Big Mal give.

“The house…” He vaguely points in the direction where we’ve come from. “It will always be your home as well. We’ll keep your room, and there will always be a chair at the table for you.”

“I love Josie, and I want to be her husband. To love and to cherish her.”

I take his hands to interrupt his stream of consciousness.

“Save that part for the priest, man.” I smile at him. “Have you talked about this with my sister at all?”

“We… no… not really,” he says somewhat deflated. “The topic has come up, but I haven’t asked her yet.”

I chuckle. Knowing my sister, she has been dropping hints left and right ever since she found out she was pregnant. At the very least.

“And I want to be a dad to little Soso.” Mal adds.

This one stings a little, actually. I know I’m not Soso’s dad, but I was there when she was born, and even though I missed quite a bit of her early years, there’s just this special bond between us that I don’t share with anyone else. She’s the closest to having a daughter of my own that I will ever have.

“You will always be her favourite person in the world. You needn’t worry about that.” I’m either very easy to read or he adopted my sister’s uncanny big sister magic. How do they know exactly what I’m thinking? It is a bit unnerving. “She adores you so much. She talked about nothing else all day today, only that it’s her Unkie Lell’s birthday and he’s coming round for dinner. For her, you’re the greatest superhero of all time.”

I feel my cheeks get a little hot, and I’m grateful for the semi-darkness inside the car.

There’s silence between us until Mal reminds me in a small voice:

“So… do I?”

Gosh! I completely forgot the question!

“Yes! Yes, of course!” I rush to assure him. “Of course, I give you my blessing.”

He’s so happy about it that he tries to hug me, which is a little awkward given the small space inside the car and his big size. I pat him on the back a little stiffly, and after a moment, he stuffs the ring box back into the glove compartment, and we drive on, back to our mutual silence.

We arrive at my apartment house (mine because I work and live there, not because I own it), and he turns off the car engine and gets out when I do.

“Thanks, man, really appreciate it,” he says a little sheepishly. I wave it off. It’s nothing. He scratches his head, and I realise there is more. My sister is already pregnant; they’re getting married. What else could there be?

“Look, man, what I said earlier about the house being your home and there always being a chair at the table for you… that applies to your… your partner, too. If… or rather when you have one.” He’s wringing his hands. “And if it’s… it’s a man… I’m cool with it.”

He looks at me desperately.

Part of me wants to blow up in his face and yell: “I’m gay; of course it’s going to be a man!” But the other part of me recognises what he’s trying to do here. Very clumsily and maybe a little misguided but with good intentions. Growing up in my neighbourhood, there weren’t that many queer people there. Actually, none that I remember. So I doubt Mal knows that many people in the community. My own queerness has never been a topic between us, but obviously it’s important for him to let me know he accepts me for who I am. His intended’s gay brother. Who might – or might not – one day bring another man to sit at the family table.

I decide to take his words for what they are and nod in acknowledgement. “Thanks, man.”

We hug, properly, this time, not restricted by the confinements of the car, before I head upstairs to my flat.

Bruno is giving me the cold shoulder when I unlock the door to my apartment. He’s upset I left him alone all day. I prepare some kibbles for him and add his favourite pouch food. I even top it with a bit of parsley to make it look nice. Bruno gives me a long-levelled look that clearly says “Are you fucking kidding me?” and pushes the parsley out of the way with his nose before he digs in.

I yawn and crash on my bed. I undress lying on my bed and send my jeans and shirt flying across the room. I’m asleep in seconds.

It’s still pitch dark when I awake from a nightmare. I can’t remember any details, but I’m drenched in sweat and my heart is pounding. I lie in the darkness, stare at the ceiling and try to recollect what happened in my dream, but it’s only a series of disconnected images and fragments. I can’t shake the feeling of unease off and take a shower. Then I grab my duvet and go outside onto my rooftop terrace. I rearrange the cushions on my deckchair and plonk down on it. It is still stifling and humid out there, but I still pull my duvet up to my nose and look at the stars. After a moment, I feel a small dip next to my calves. Bruno followed me outside on his soft paws and jumped up on the deckchair. He looks at me with his big eyes enquiringly.

“I’m alright, buddy,” I tell him and reach out with a hand from underneath my duvet to ruffle the fur on this head. He makes a small noise and then curls up next to me, keeping watch. I leave my hand in his fur, feeling the steady thump of his heart underneath my fingers. I fall asleep again when the first brushes of pink appear on the horizon.